Sunday, April 25, 2010

10 Week 17 - Well, I'm The One Who Should Be Looked Down

Do you know the difference between your son and the others' sons? You would criticize the others' sons when you heard that they changed their job like changing clothes. You would see most of the youngsters nowadays as fragile vases who couldn't bear much working pressure. But when your son is one of the vases, you are totally okay with that. You are capable of rationalizing it.

My dad encouraged me to quit my job. Perhaps he'd had enough listening to my whine during every dinner.

Do you know the difference between "I" and the others?

When I heard Amy changed her job after working for only two months in an event company, I thought I would never do this kind of things. Amy, what's wrong with you? I might work at least six months no matter what. (This might be a good example of fundamental attribution error.) However, recently I'm planning to quit my job. No, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm just guiding myself walking from a deviant path.

I have cognitive dissonance when I work under the system. I don't like to force children non-stop doing homework. I don't agree to punish children in order to stop them keep asking me questions. I don't like to rush the syllabus as my students are slow learners. I don't like to use the teaching materials that do not match with students' standard. I don't think we are fully responsible for students' grades. I don't believe academic achievement is everything.

There are many other small issues that urge me to resign, but I should stop whining or this post would be very long. Actually if I'm doing something I like, which doesn't make me feel "that's not right," I don't mind to work long hours with heavy workload. Anyway, it doesn't mean there's nothing good to work for my boss. However the good side are not good enough to compensate the less attractive side.

In short, I've decided to quit. You may look down on me, like how the others' father might do. If you know me well, you know I don't care anyway.

27 comments:

Y teng said...

just do what u think is good la... at least u try... : ) anyway, due to the high pay and i not yet experience what you have went through; i might have a try after my practical... : ) hehe...

lezheng said...

perhaps you might fit well with the system :)

kp said...

i wanted to, but you are too tall for me to look down... =(

i wish i could. sigh...

Amy said...

waaa...Ck...my name was mentioned there so obviously =X

to me..working is never easy...but if you work on something you don't like..you'll suffer and get burn out more easier..**so yeap, tats why i quit my job within 2 months**

fresh grads like us, it's common that we explore jobs that suits us..take it easily..you'll sure get a job that you enjoy..though the pay might not that high..

well...maybe other ppl thinks that money is more important than choosing a job you like..who knows?

just my own thoughts =)

all the best and hope you'll get a job that you enjoy soon =)

Mia Lim said...

can i type Chinese??? lol
feel bad to change the channel:P

anyway
工作是你需要花你一天的三分之一去做的事
换算成人生
它会至少占你人生的一半
如果做到不开心
觉得自己在浪费时间
那离职也不是什么坏事
当然
如果是你自己的问题
像懒惰啊、不上进啊、吃不了苦啊
那就该骂
但是你不是啊
所以没有必要考虑酱多

p/s:
我已经update blog 了
不要再催我啦:P

kp said...

如果结婚也可以酱try try下就好了。=D

kp said...

oh amy,敢敢去做,最多以后钓金龟! =P

Anonymous said...

Do whatever you feel comfortable and try you best to do the right job. System could not fit to all, but the difficult thing and is also the most important is you have to find a system that fits you well. -E-

bingwa said...

什么时候可以做到换工次数和吃饭一样啊~

ms said...

kp: 可以的。。。现在有很多人都先同居,才决定要不要结婚啊。。。如果你不介意的话。。。

Mia Lim said...

其实同居跟结婚
除了少了那张纸跟名分以外
有什么不同?

不同也是心理作用而已。。。。

JENGMUN, SAM said...

omg am i too late to comment? :P
hehehehe
I LOOK DOWN ON YOU.
WHY QUIT JOB NEVER AJAK ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

anyway, you are right. even your father looked down on you, u will also quit the job right?LOL

Y teng said...

现在的人真的看得这么开了?很大分别lo, 好不好?!
同居= 不合法
结婚= 合法

而且,结婚保障双方……
别为了一时的快乐,造成以后的遗憾……

back to a go,
erm... maybe lo... because i more rigid... hehe

kp said...

认真地回复。

CheeKhong,
才换第一份工啊,这么快就下定论?
做自己过意不去的工作,自己才要look down自己吧?别让自己瞧不起自己就好啦。
如果一年内你换5次工,前面3次可能还会鼓励你换,第4份的时候我应该会叫你挨下去,因为问题是你自己。下一份工选好好就好啦。*拍肩膀*

MeiSan + Mia,
那句话,我纯碎是开玩笑的。想说我try过CheeKhong,CheeLian,JiKwan... =P
有一次仔细地听过Mia的想法,蛮赞同的。然后偶然也有和朋友聊过,但立场暂时保持中立。因为就算是同居,也可以有很多definitions+boundaries,像能不能/会不会发生性行为是其中一个最具争议性的因素。

Mia,其实想问很久了。婚姻就一张纸而已啊,可是我觉得值得思考的是,反正就在一起,那多一张又有何妨呢?

Amy said...

kp: 你叫我敢敢去结婚??不同吧?工作你还可以选择放弃。 至于结婚,是一世的承诺 (对我而言啦)。。怎么可以乱乱换??

至于婚姻跟同居,相差的可能只是一张纸,可是相对比起来,婚姻所承受的负担...应该会比同居来得多吧..你应该有听说过“婚姻不是两个人的事”, 可是你有听过“同居不是两个人的事”吗?

这样看起来,差别很大吧?

just own opinion =)

bingwa said...

kp 的认真回复中Skip我 /_\

我是觉得若没有相伴一生的觉悟的话就连恋爱也别谈好了当某天同居过后才来分手的话很大几率会很伤的~

有时会想,若不结婚孤身一人的话领个孤儿培养栽培好像也不错 :p

有时有些人之间的关系谈不上爱情或谈不上友情但是却可以有一种家人的感觉~

kp said...

amy,我的意思是,敢敢去做自己想要的工作,像social work类似可以直接帮助别人的。这不是你想要的吗?
至于养不活自己,可以自己投资or钓金龟。=P

p/s:先别顾虑“乱乱换”,这些东西等有人要的时候才打算啦!=P


瓦兄,那感谢你没有skip我。=P
至于你所说的觉悟,
1. 双方都有酱的觉悟但拍拖过后发现和对方和不来,怎么办?
2. 如果上面的事情只是单方面的想法,事情会更复杂。
3. 那刚开始可能没有,那拍拖时共患难见真情过后发现要永远在一起也是可能的。毕竟在一起,会让彼此都成长。
4. 那你找老婆应该很容易。只要问任何一个女生:“你有没有相伴一生的意愿?,有的话,那我们就结婚吧!”
5. 第四项纯碎要酸你。=P 别以为女生抱着“有相伴一生的意愿”和你谈恋爱过后就会嫁给你。也有可能真正认识你过后想打退堂鼓leh。xP
6. 不要怕伤害啊!
7. 先不管结婚好不好。但自己做爸妈or看着自己的婴儿从几磅慢慢长大or经营一个家庭,经历和体会是很不一样滴。

Mia Lim said...

哈哈。。。。
连锁反应
突然有很多人留言tim.....

kp:
我忘记我上一次讲过什么了
不知道我的立场现在变了没有
但是这一次
我写到:
“同居跟结婚
只差一张纸没有什么不同”
想讲的是
结婚跟同居对我而言的意义是一样的

两个人决定一起生活在一个空间里
本来就不会是简单的事
事先需要做的心理建设、决心
对我而言两者都一样
所以如果一开始就抱着玩玩试试的态度
那就连同居都没有必要
但是如果双方都是认真的
那同居就有他的意义存在
就像是要进入婚姻前的buffer period一样
当然
前提是如果你能接受同居这件事的话
所以我个人并不排斥同居

如果说结婚是两家人的事
那我会说同居也是一样的
承受的压力也都一样多
因为不会有哪家的父母会喜欢别人在背后说
“谁谁谁的孩子在跟那个男人/女人同居”

Mia Lim said...


忘记回答很多问题

kp
我还是觉得结婚是有必要的
只是如果双方都认定对方以后
你就不会去在意说 
“没有结婚就没有保障”那种问题
心意变得比较重要
结婚变成是“认定对方”的一种加温行为


binghwa
eh....像你酱讲就有那么一点夸张啦
因为谈恋爱本身就是一个非常重要的过程
如果在那之前
过于局限自己在“有没有相伴一生的觉悟”
那要找到对的人会变的更难
很多选择可能一开始就会被自己拒绝掉


y teng
同居=不合法
好像有一点点偏激
好像同居的人都在犯罪一样
个人不太赞同
但是一切要看同居的人是在用什么心态同居吧
我想。。。。 :)

bingwa said...

rf

of cuz
那个觉悟是其中一个条件而已啦 rf
还是要看对方是什么人才适用的


偷偷问下ck有没有什么对象? rf

Y teng said...

if 同居, u cant tell people u r Mr/ Mrs xxx lo... In law perspective, u both live as married but in fact is invalid la... does not mean polis will tangkap la : )

No need to be serious on this issue... individual differences... U can do anything, as long as it is rational and good for u... Do no harm can be a guideline... : )

lezheng said...

哇,看你们的留言时我的耳朵似乎有幻听,好像真的听得见你们你一言我一语地谈话。

我觉得……同居虽然没有保障,但同时也表示没有约束。两个人自由自在地在一起亲密地生活,没有心理上“从此以后被绑死”的状态,目前的我会比较会向往吧。

kp said...

Mia,
是上次after FIR concert在McD聊得。=P
so你现在的想法是拍拖 -> 同居 -> 结婚?
上面的conclusion看起来不是很socially acceptable,但是是我了解到的啦。


瓦兄,原来我还是skip了你的第一个问题。
“什么时候可以做到换工次数和吃饭一样啊~”,
其实嘛,两方面都是在你的掌控之中。
你可以掌控换工的次数,也可以掌控吃饭的次数,
你可以5年10年换一次工,也可以5年到10年内吃鸡怕、牛扒、羊扒、意大利面、pizza、burger等等除了饭以外的正餐,等你要换工的时候,在吃饭?xP

CheeKhong的post明明是关于换工的,就那么一个comment,把一下的意见都换主题了。呵呵。。。

kp said...

Y teng,
虽然说婚姻是合法的,感觉你要说的“同居”,并不是从law perspective出发,而是更偏于moral or social acceptance。

CheeKhong,
你有positive hallucination。=P 去看医生!

Mia Lim said...

yteng:
也对
我们好像讨论到有一点太多了

ck:
原来你也可以接受同居?
有吓到

kp:
你的结论太笼统
基本我不排斥
但不一定会同居
看情况啦

mantou said...

暂且不提你这一笔,

那我来做例子吧~

工作有时候要配合很多事情,天时地利人和,

如果我爸爸没有叫我去念master,
看来我是应该去做工咯~因为我承认我是没有方向感的人,

结果我爸爸很insist要我去读master,怕以后degree真得不够“吃”

好咯~反正也不会少掉一块肉,就给自己机会尝试尝试一下,

其实我很担心家里的经济负担,读书=用钱,但是爸爸大派定心丸,呵呵,虽然assistant微薄薪水,可是还是每月付家用...

所以最后我还是走到现在了,我不是说做工没压力,可是念master也很累,早上做lab,晚上做报告,我还是很吃力的走,现在还在吃力中...给supervisor催,吓到我还以为她要炒掉我...呵呵~可能我不够她眼中的efficient吧...

有时候啊,或许可以乐观,既然要辞职了,或许下一份工真的没有你想象差。

我每次对自己说,上天安排了一切是有它的原因,虽然没有响雷下雨般的告知你...或许这也叫人生吧~希望你找到最好的给自己。

或许...=)

bingwa said...

道,就在你脚下。