这个星期，我仍然觉得有压力。我不想上班，想放假去一个地方什么都不做，看别人生活。我怀念跟朋友去旅行的日子。去旅行只要想去哪里玩就好，没有idea就随便找个风景好的地方坐下闲聊，没有压力，没有任何expectation，一天就那样悠闲地过去。我也怀念上课的日子，可以见到我喜欢的朋友和lecturer，虽然有时候上课想打瞌睡，至少不需要担心太多。
最近这两个星期，我只要一上班就觉得焦虑。晚上睡觉会想第二天的appointments。又要见那个小女孩，她可以跟我玩可是不会听我的指示，她听我的supervisor的话。不知道supervisor会不会又找到我犯什么错误，打电话刷我一顿？Supervisor在session中突然间把棒子抛给我，我能不能接住？经过一次又一次的不顺利，我一次又一次自我怀疑，我会不会pass这个practicum？我会不会毕业？就算侥幸毕业，我做到事情吗？到头来，我适不适合做psychologist？
但平下心冷静想，虽然我有时会嚷着说想要放弃，其实要放弃是做不到的。因为，这个机会得来不易，放弃未免太可惜。或许，我应该思考我真正需要的是什么？我应该做什么才能变得更好？
6 comments:
這個星期見了你兩次，都沒有聊到你的事情。
ermm，你要不要去找一找要怎麼和小孩溝通的資料或書籍啊？或許有幫助？
I understand u...I'm in the same situation like u...stressful...don't know Wat would happen when the Practicuum start...
其实，在实习的时候遇到瓶颈，大部分的人都会自我怀疑。活在当下，尽力去完成你的工，好像KP讲的那样，多读类似的书。
有时候，你可能不适合应付某个群体，可是，并不表示你不适合那个行业。
呼吸，喘口气，睡个好觉。
明天自有明天的忧虑，一天的难处一天当就行了。
共勉之~~
It's never easy to handle a child. *pats*
i remember my lecturer told me, 1 child you need 1 way to handle he/she. 100 child you will need 100 ways. Never the same.
like yteng said, this doesn show that u r not suitable to be psychologist. don't look down on yourself =)
if you need any help or sharing regarding handling kids let me know. Can share a bit of my experience or perhaps i can consult my head teacher too =)
see which day we come out yum cha have some sharing? =) gayao!!
Today I went back to PKIK, the special children center I worked with before getting into Master course. Most of the people there remembered me, children (...should be considered adults by chronological age) were excited to see me, shouting my name ("Chee Keong!" =.=||) I almost forgot I worked with them 2 years ago. I almost forgot the good time I enjoyed. I don't hate them. They are one of my reasons to be a psychologist.
Why would I feel so stressful about working with children now? Expectation, I guess. Shin told me so many times, I am strict toward myself. Kok Wai wrote in postcard that I give myself too much of pressure. And another thing is my fear, I guess. I'm anxious that if I don't do well, I'm nothing.
I've just confirmed an appointment with my counselor. Will start seeing counselor at the end of May. Now what I need is just self-acceptance, taking things slowly. I guess. And I feel so blessed and touched that friends are so supportive. I wish to hug everyone.
半斤八两啊
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