开车的时候电台正播着萧敬腾的《开到荼靡》。原唱是王菲。我很久以前就听过王菲的版本，但是当时应该是年纪太轻了，没有真正听出歌词的意境和意义。没有茅塞顿开般的领悟，亦没深受其感般的共鸣。而且当时听过后也不是很喜欢，也就把歌抛诸脑后了。再次听见，已经是好几年后的事情了。现在听回，感受非常不一样。歌词写得真好，好到让我想流眼泪呢。不过在车上流眼泪并不太恰当，不明就里的人看见会以为我刚刚被抛弃，正开车前往海边喔。
王淇春写的“开到荼靡花事了”，写得真好。简直把结束这件事以简单利落又有画面的七个字描写了出来。很美。
继续听歌。
Further reading: http://gaaan.com/Bachelorette?p=30443
Actually I have no idea what to write now. But I do have something to write. Perhaps it is more accurate to say I have no clear theme for this post. This is just a random post.
I got an interesting comment from my group member in Group Process class. There was an activity in my last class in which each of us was asked to write down our comment for our group members and friends. This was how I got this comment: "You are wonderful because you seem like an unique, intelligent, and sociable person." Thank you very much. However, sociable? In fact, I did not intend to seem like sociable. This is not part of my self-concept.
Over these years, I am aware that I have developed my own world view. I do see things in simple and straight way. When I was introduced about Occam's razor, I knew it would be my favorite principle in life. Simple is just beautiful. I realized that some people might not be satisfied by Occam's razor. They prefer something more complicated, they prefer to say "this is not as simple as you think" and/or "you'd never understand this," alright. I am not asking them to stand at my side anyway. I am just telling you how I see things. Things are basically neutral, it just depends on how you perceive it. If you do not accept my perspective, live with yours and continue enjoying your life. I am not affected, afterall. I respect our difference.
By the way, I can't see there's something in which they can understand but I can't. I believe in my intelligence and thinking skills. I should make myself clear here, if anyone tells me "this is not as simple as you think", "you'd never understand this", or other similar lines, this person is insulting my intelligence. Three possibilities lie here:
1) His/her god-blessed thinking ability has mentally complicated the situation until he/she really thinks it seriously takes an genius to understand the issue;
2) He/she thinks my intelligence and maturity are not as good as his/her; or
3) The person just does not want to talk anymore.
I do not really care which one is the truth. I just wish that when people feel like hard to continue the conversation, they can just be silent (I am totally okay with that) or simply say "I would like to stop here." Keep the defense mechanism to the others (if they did not intend to make joke). I of course prefer to hear more about the story, if they would like to talk more about it.
My college friends said I am a nonchalant person who lack of empathy. I actually consider this as compliment because this somehow makes my mind tends to be objective. I know I should work harder on my humanity, let's see how things go after few years :)
My favorite character is Christina Yang, if anyone of you watch Grey's Anatomy.
I was so excited to buy this book from Kinokuniya! It has been long time I stopped reading Haruki's fiction. He is an amazing author. Now I don't care the two final exams on the next Monday anymore. All I want is just reading.
昨天，我们一组人做poster，做到7点左右才回家。
已经很久没有试过为了功课搞到迟回家。
跟朋友踏出学校大门，凉风迎面，天色处于暗亮之间。
虽然天空还算亮，路灯也已经着了。
心情因为完成了功课而兴奋和疲累，也因为是最后一次而惆怅。
我知道我以后一定会很怀念这样的时光。
吹着微微凉风，有说有笑地一起走在露天停车场的傍晚时光。
Thesis写完了
开始的时候巴不得赶快写完。
快要结束的时候依依不舍。
写了几段就跑去做其他事情。
明明就能够持续不断地写。
可是心情真的可以影响理智。
不想面对即将到来的结束。
尽管如此多不愿意也都完了。
真有股冲动想大哭一场呢。
我不知道是不是因为天气呢？
最近察觉到自己的情绪化。
如果你曾经走过Bangsar的大路，大概有印象那一条路设有好几个交通灯吧？我发现那里的交通灯挺有趣的，因为它们的timing真的非常好喔。话说今早我从MidValley那里开进了那一条路时，电台就开始播徐佳莹的《喔伊细》。路上的车行使通顺，我也就踩大油门来到了第一个交通灯。怎么知道交通灯也就在那一刻转橙色了！要停还是走？就在秒杀间我决定把油门踩得更大力，快快过！过了后瞄了一眼倒后镜，后面的车也跟着过了，哈哈哈我也不是唯一一个嘛。
来到了第二个交通灯前，非常神奇地交通灯又在我面前突然转橙了！不管了，在“亲爱亲爱的我跳进眼前的爱河”下，我再次闯了红灯。不可思议的事情还在后头，在歌曲的背景鼓声下我心跳加速地在路上奔驰，我接下来的那些交通灯，通通就在我抵达时转为橙灯（“他们说记得加油呢~”）。我都义无反顾地闯啦（“不好意思了~”）！
终于过了最后一个交通灯，歌也已经播完了有一两分钟了。我突然爆笑。
"According to Sigmund Freud, humans have a life instinct – which he named 'Eros' – and a death drive, which is commonly called (though not by Freud himself) 'Thanatos'. This postulated death drive allegedly compels humans to engage in risky and self-destructive acts that could lead to their own death. Behaviors such as thrill seeking, aggression, and risk taking are viewed as actions which stem from this Thanatos instinct. However, from a scientific viewpoint, the notion of Thanatos continues to be highly controversial" (Wikipedia, 2009, p.1).
I start to believe the existence of thanatos. Based on my personal experiences.
Reference
Wikipedia. (2009). Thanatos. Retrieved November 1, 2009 from the World Wide Web: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanatos
