09 Week 32 - I'm a Garbage Collector

前两天，我决定使用相机的新电池，于是就拿电池出来充电。怎么知道电池无法充电。无论试了多少次，还是不行。我的心里慌了一下。糟糕。这么说，我就只有一颗电池来维持我的相机的生命了。而且坏消息是，我的唯一一颗电池的充电量越来越少了。因为我的相机是旧款的关系，相关配件也已经停产了。意思就是，只要我的这一颗电池有什么问题，那么无论我愿意不愿意，我也必须要把我的相机放下了。相机好好地，就因为没有了电池也就相等于没用了。很遗憾。我当晚不断寻思人们是如何面对这样的事情呢？

对我来说，如果是因为这样的问题而不得不把相机丢掉，我不忍心。这部相机是我17岁生日的礼物，我第一部用来学习摄影的工具，我用它拍过不少我喜欢的照片，它陪我度过不少美好的时光。丢不下手。如果只收起来，却又没办法让它“活”过来，有什么意思呢？跟留住尸体一样有什么意义呢？虽然说现在想这些未免早了些，不过早一些想好也许是好事。至少到时候能够果断地把相机处理掉。

我有跟物件建立感情的坏习惯，结果很多东西都舍不得丢。虽然前几年已经狠下心把不少东西丢掉了，但现在累积的物件又渐渐多了。真是伤脑筋。或许找一天真的要提醒自己，真正重要的东西是看不见的。这一些东西，就有如已经死掉的人那样，已经没有了灵魂了，对自己已经没有任何的反应了，很应该处理掉。重要的是过去这些东西曾经与自己共度的美好时光，是确实发生过了，而且永远被储存在记忆里。我怀念的，不是物件，是那段记忆和经验。东西总会有离开自己的一天。只有记忆，是任何人都不能夺走的。只要有记忆，就已经够了。好好把东西处理掉吧。放手吧。

真希望我到时候能有这么洒脱。

03-08-2009
做了一个梦。虽然已经过了快要半天了，可是仍然心有余悸。

梦里，父母被拜托要找回一对夫妻的儿子。儿子已经失踪多时，结果那对夫妻跑去神坛求助，得知儿子已经死掉了。诡异的是，其实儿子是在家里面死的，但是尸体已经被鬼藏起来了。我随父母去到了那间屋子，清楚地感觉到屋子里的氛围非常凝重。母亲说看起来怨气非常深喔。进入了那儿子的房间（应该就是死亡的场所），里面的空气冷飕飕地，像是已经被压缩过，让人呼吸也特别困难。没有尸体。尸体到哪里去了呢？那对夫妻说问过了神明，儿子的尸体被藏在一个岛上的空屋里。我们也就一起出海，找到了那座岛。岛上只有一间屋子，虽然感觉上已经被荒废了，但看起来非常新。门非常轻易地就被打开了，父亲叫我们在门口等他，他一个人进去拿尸体就行了。父亲走进了屋子后，四周刮起了强风，母亲和我被迫走进了屋子里面。母亲说那儿子想把我们都留在这里呢。强风刮进了屋子里头，门突然间关上了。我尝试把门打开，开不到。大概是外面的风太强了。父亲这时候抱着一个小男孩出来了。那男孩全身僵硬，他的姿势是爬着的，神色惊恐万分，仿佛在死前正努力地从不知名的力量逃离，匍匐前进。到底，这个人死前遭遇到什么可怕的事件呢？

在梦中的我来不及想，就突然间醒了。很可怕，梦里的氛围太重了，里面的怨气仿佛也从梦中被不小心带到现实来了。那小孩，是被很恐怖的手段活生生地弄死的。怎么会做这样的梦呢？

FRIM Half-Day Trip

09 Week 31 - Talking about Photography

忽然之间，我发现身边的朋友一个接一个对摄影有兴趣。觉得真不错，那么我就和他们有多一个共同话题了。他们都对DSLR有很大的兴趣，觉得如果要买相机来学习摄影就要买一部好的来好好玩。于是有的看上了Nikon的D5000，有的喜欢D90，有的偏好Canon……一部DSLR少说至少要1500块以上，Nikon和Canon的也两千三千多块，所以说买DSLR玩摄影真是个不小的投资呀，还没说到镜头呢。而我，也正心想着要不要也买新相机呢？我正非常认真地考虑着，因为我目前的相机已经给不到我要的东西了。1cm macro，这不是2003年的prosumer camera能够给到我的东西。

我想过如果要买新相机，那么就买回prosumer吧。我不喜欢大大的DSLR。我比较喜欢小小的相机随身带在身上，不需要把背包撑得大大，又可以像玩DSLR般调aperture、shutter speed、exposure……当然DSLR能够给到更大和更小的数值。不过没多久我又想，或许我会后悔的，或许有一天我会很想玩DSLR，那么我就会骂自己为什么已经有了一部prosumer还要买多一部回来。但是话说回来，我就是不愿意带着大架的相机到处走呀，说不定买了DSLR我也懒得带出去也可能呀。哎呀，到底我想怎么样啊？

不想相机吧。说一下我喜欢看的照片。我基本上比较喜欢看人像，因为我觉得人像比较耐看。像上一次的Broga Hill照片，风景照我看一眼就看下一张，但是有人的照片我就会慢慢看。看看他们的表情，看看他们的动作还有回想当时的情况。我可以看一张人像照长达两三分钟。旅游人像照更加不用说，一辑照片可以慢慢看上一个小时。但是说到拍照，我就偏偏不是拍人像的材料。不知道是相机的问题还是我的问题，真的没拍到多少自己喜欢的人像照。大概是那种拍十次才有一两次满意的程度吧。有点伤脑筋。

比起人像，风景和物件这一类不太会移动的东西会比较好拍。让我有足够的时间想构图和决定拍摄的设定。当然也不是说拍得很好看，只不过是自己喜欢而已。通常拍这一类照片往往有很大的收获。像心理学那样，我们可以用不同的角度来解释和分析一个人的行为；摄影的时候，我们可以从不同的角度来看一个地方或物件，以不同的方式来诠释眼前所见。我把我看见的东西拍下来。我把我看东西的角度也拍了下来。This is what I see, this is how I see this thing，从照片中，也可以有“借他人的眼睛来看这个世界”的诗意。我喜欢这种诗意。看照片的人正以和我一样的角度来看一样的东西。
话说回来，我倒没问过朋友为什么他们喜欢摄影。既然准备花一笔钱来买DSLR，大概会有什么原因让他们想拍好照片吧？

终于下雨了

终于下雨了
雨后再次看见蓝色的天
再次看见树叶上一颗一颗的水珠
闻着潮湿的雨的味道
闻着清爽的空气
心境也平静了

09 Week 30 - Doing Something I Like

一开始放假，心情就会非常好，犹如无拘无束的鸟那样到处飞扬。很久没有看杂志，很久没有去Kinokuniya，很久没有买中文书看，很久没有痛快地看不用消化的书。我通通要做。

如果所谓出去“蒲”是这么一回事……

我想我大概会比较愿意去这样的场合。就是那种你正喝酒时有个豪迈（还是豪放？）的歌手跑了出来，在现场演奏下高兴地唱歌，偶尔会跑下台撩一下客人。客人们神奇地会唱合音，最后大家和乐融融地歌唱。然后不知道为什么还会有人突然站起来带头跳舞，接着大多数人都和谐地一起跳舞。歌手穿梭在舞池中，转了几圈后继续跑到台上（不知道为什么口袋会塞满了钞票）唱最后一段。最后，大家兴高采烈地拍手，歌手喜滋滋地鞠躬了一下又接着唱另外一首歌。我想我贪图的大概是融洽的气氛。一堆陌生人因为音乐而有了互动，和平地一起玩。

话说回来，我的group project……
成功把那白痴的idea ban掉，哈哈哈哈哈。一切终于又在自己的意思中进行了 ;-)

09 Week 29 - I'm Still There

Recently I realized some of my friends and people I know have graduated or finished their subjects. And I'm still there, staring at their back. The feeling is like being in a line for a roller coaster ride. I see people getting on the ride and secretly feel excited and anxious for them. I wonder how would I feel when it's my turn.

But look at what I'm facing now...
Malaysian Studies group project - losing my power to guide the super large group (Now I've decided to give up, simply go with the flow is easier)
Thesis proposal - correcting the final draft
Thesis proposal presentation - doing the slides
Thesis ERB - preparing (psychologically, in mind)
...

I still have a long way to go.

After the group project meeting yesterday, now I'm a bit relieved. Finally someone listened to me. Oh? Did I say I've decided to simply go with the flow? Too bad, my personality doesn't allow me to do so.

13-07-2009
The thesis proposal presentation basically went quite well, just that once again I felt sorry for my nervousness and my pronunciation. After that I went for a movie and a dinner with college friends. Also, had a coffee in Starbucks. We kept talking and made fun with Hui Yi :P I felt comfortable while talking with them, we could talk almost everything. And I liked certain extent of self-disclosure :-), it made me felt like closer to my friends. That night was just nice, I wish to keep having this kind of gathering in future.

One thing to take note: Choose round table in gathering, so that everyone can see each other (Lim, 2009).

Colour Psychology

Color Psychology

Like death and taxes, there is no escaping color. It is ubiquitous. Yet what does it all mean? Why are people more relaxed in green rooms? Why do weightlifters do their best in blue gyms?

Colors often have different meanings in various cultures. And even in Western societies, the meanings of various colors have changed over the years. But today in the U.S., researchers have generally found the following to be accurate.

Black
Black is the color of authority and power. It is popular in fashion because it makes people appear thinner. It is also stylish and timeless. Black also implies submission. Priests wear black to signify submission to God. Some fashion experts say a woman wearing black implies submission to men. Black outfits can also be overpowering, or make the wearer seem aloof or evil. Villains, such as Dracula, often wear black.

White
Brides wear white to symbolize innocence and purity. White reflects light and is considered a summer color. White is popular in decorating and in fashion because it is light, neutral, and goes with everything. However, white shows dirt and is therefore more difficult to keep clean than other colors. Doctors and nurses wear white to imply sterility.

Red
The most emotionally intense color, red stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. It is also the color of love. Red clothing gets noticed and makes the wearer appear heavier. Since it is an extreme color, red clothing might not help people in negotiations or confrontations. Red cars are popular targets for thieves. In decorating, red is usually used as an accent. Decorators say that red furniture should be perfect since it will attract attention.

The most romantic color, pink, is more tranquilizing. Sports teams sometimes paint the locker rooms used by opposing teams bright pink so their opponents will lose energy.

Blue
The color of the sky and the ocean, blue is one of the most popular colors. It causes the opposite reaction as red. Peaceful, tranquil blue causes the body to produce calming chemicals, so it is often used in bedrooms. Blue can also be cold and depressing. Fashion consultants recommend wearing blue to job interviews because it symbolizes loyalty. People are more productive in blue rooms. Studies show weightlifters are able to handle heavier weights in blue gyms.

Green
Currently the most popular decorating color, green symbolizes nature. It is the easiest color on the eye and can improve vision. It is a calming, refreshing color. People waiting to appear on TV sit in "green rooms" to relax. Hospitals often use green because it relaxes patients. Brides in the Middle Ages wore green to symbolize fertility. Dark green is masculine, conservative, and implies wealth. However, seamstresses often refuse to use green thread on the eve of a fashion show for fear it will bring bad luck.

Yellow
Cheerful sunny yellow is an attention getter. While it is considered an optimistic color, people lose their tempers more often in yellow rooms, and babies will cry more. It is the most difficult color for the eye to take in, so it can be overpowering if overused. Yellow enhances concentration, hence its use for legal pads. It also speeds metabolism.

Purple
The color of royalty, purple connotes luxury, wealth, and sophistication. It is also feminine and romantic. However, because it is rare in nature, purple can appear artificial.

Brown
Solid, reliable brown is the color of earth and is abundant in nature. Light brown implies genuineness while dark brown is similar to wood or leather. Brown can also be sad and wistful. Men are more apt to say brown is one of their favorite colors.

Colors of the Flag
In the U.S. flag, white stands for purity and innocence. Red represents valor and hardiness, while blue signifies justice, perseverance, and vigilance. The stars represent the heavens and all the good that people strive for, while the stripes emulate the sun's rays.

Food for Thought
While blue is one of the most popular colors it is one of the least appetizing. Blue food is rare in nature. Food researchers say that when humans searched for food, they learned to avoid toxic or spoiled objects, which were often blue, black, or purple. When food dyed blue is served to study subjects, they lose appetite.

Green, brown, and red are the most popular food colors. Red is often used in restaurant decorating schemes because it is an appetite stimulant.

by David Johnson, taken from http://www.infoplease.com/spot/colors1.html

My personal reflection
Why I never learn about this in my college's psychology course?! Perhaps it's because most of the points above are yet to be supported by research. Perhaps it's hard to conduct a research on it. Maybe my school doesn't have the expert to teach this course. But think about the role of colour in human life, I think it's worth to study about it. It's interesting and absolutely applicable in life.

Further reading: http://www.colour-affects.co.uk/

09 Week 28 - 只是近黄昏

接下来的几天应该会为final做一些准备和考试。说这么快，一个学期又要结束了。不过这一个学期真没有白过，做了不少好玩的事情，可说是集学习娱乐享受于一身。真可惜呀，再怎么好玩的一个学期，也要告一段落了。一旦想到下一个学期是最后一个学期，而我能够在学校见到的朋友又会更少时，就觉得有点遗憾似的。

昨天跟中学的朋友聚了一下。因为我自己也自知无论如何是无法融入他们的交谈的，所以已经决定早早就走人。不知道为什么，就是没有办法好好地跟他们交谈。说没几句就会end up互相挖苦的状态，我很快就会腻掉。交谈中我似乎只能在边上游走，无法再深入。然后我又不是很喜欢他们玩悄悄话自个儿会心地笑，我问“什么”，没人听见。说来说去，还是自己的问题，仍然在少人数的聚会比较自在。我专心跟瓦兄说话就好了。这样子看起来我似乎在生气什么，不，不是的，我没有生气什么，只是纯粹说我的个人感受而已，并不是生气。再说这样的情况是早已经预见的，所以并不觉得意外。

突然想起Justin Yap。不知道为什么，每一次看见他总觉得他有一种封闭感。一个人的感觉。可以跟一班人工作玩乐，但终究还是会离开群众一个人走似的。跟他在一起的唯一一次counseling session里，我觉得我跟他好像一样类型的人。我在想，以后会不会有跟他一样的情况。


Soprano: Kristina Bitenc
Conductor: Nejc Bečan
这首歌，没什么，我喜欢罢了。

Port Dickson Half-Day Trip

起源于有一天我突然很冲动要skip class跑去海边。当时LaiYing和KahHwei就建议不如等到study break才去。所以，就有了这一个trip。我的目的非常简单，就是到海边去玩和拍照而已。星期二的下午三时半，我们共五人以高速前往Port Dickson。每当在南北大道驾驶我就会自然有旅行感。看见指向Seremban Port Dickson的路牌我们决定掠过。我们是有经验的玩家，知道更靠近目的地的入口！（旅行感顿时加倍）

车子继续以高速前进。我们谈论着 HuiYi的笑话，哈哈哈哈哈。不知道过了多久，我们突然发现我们快要到Melacca了！那个shortcut to the beaches的路口，跑到哪里去了？啊啊啊啊啊——！都是HuiYi害的……下一个路口就是Mia的家乡了，于是我们就将错就错，到那里吃一些东西再 说。这是我当天早上醒来时完全没有预料到的意外之行。（冒险感加分）

Mia的亲戚有一间茶室，她的亲戚请我们吃了一个下午茶，让我们很不 好意思。我们在离开前让Mia去探访一下她的阿姨，没想到她的阿姨真的很好人很好客很慷慨很客气，送了刚做好的kaya给我们！我们……我们这一班人在 Mia的亲戚那里真的是又吃又拿，虽然非常不好意思但我又觉得很开心，真是复杂的情绪呀。

我们从三点半出发，结果六点多才抵达海滩。在路 边看见一个海滩觉得很美，就停在一边下车玩了。时间算是刚好，阳光也刚好，不晒。一下车，海风就迎面吹来。脱下鞋子踏在细幼的沙上，看向眼前的大海，心里 很平静舒服。我二话不说，立刻拿起了相机不断地捕抓我眼前的人和景。到了最后大家都拿起了相机照相，我们的活动就互相偷拍！我还拍下了她们的头发被风吹散 的残样，哈哈哈。待夕阳西下，我们看着火红的圆日渐渐消失在眼前后，我们才离开。

晚餐就在Seremban吃螃蟹。要吃这一餐也不容易，因为我们没有一个人会路。我们的最后一个冒险是在Seremban的城里乱闯。（冒险感倍增）感谢HuiYi和Catherine在电话带路，我们才找到地方。晚餐不用说，很satisfying。旅程就此宣告结束。